When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I would ride that face into the sunset
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
