The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize