I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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