you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
