This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
