is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
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its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
This baby is an asshole
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
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I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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