i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I smell like Dick and happiness
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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