he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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