Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
