we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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