Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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