you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
