alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
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I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
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The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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