Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
