I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
