Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
