why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
organizing the empties. That sober.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
