are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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