he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
