The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
