we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize