fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
