Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
