I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do plants get herpes?
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