i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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