Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How external is "for external use only"?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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