He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
