i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize