Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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