please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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