it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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