I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
