i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
