Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
