i think my tv is drunk
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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