She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize