Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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