I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
