Your dad touched me again.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I wear drunk well.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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