I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
