Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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