I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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