I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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