Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize