you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
