I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
