arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
whose ass print is on the piano?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
