And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
