I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
