If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
