i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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