I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
