He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
