I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
