Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
