is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
