Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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