Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
